youre lurking in front of me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
