I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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