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I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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