let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
