I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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