just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
