just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
