I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize