More tranny stories later!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
