Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
