my sisters under your porch take her home
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
