Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
