i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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