yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
