i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
