Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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