Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
