Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
