May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
