Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
