she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
