three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
