i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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