He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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