Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
