im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
