Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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