Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
