i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
