What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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