Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
