They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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