it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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