I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
