There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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