he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
