hell yes lets make some ravioli
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
