my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize