before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
