Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
