Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
