jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
