Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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