If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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