The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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