dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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