East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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