I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
