Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
