the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
