Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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