I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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