Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm gonna fight the coyote
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize