when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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