How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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