her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
