He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
