Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Im part way to drunk.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
