Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
