I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
