...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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